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Resources and guidance for understanding, communicating with, and supporting neurodivergent loved ones. Learn how to be an ally and create more understanding relationships.
Neurodivergence isn't a flaw—it's a different way of experiencing and processing the world. ADHD, autism, and their combination (AuDHD) come with unique strengths and challenges. Your loved one isn't being difficult on purpose; their brain simply works differently.
Essential insights for supporting neurodivergent individuals effectively
Tasks that seem simple to you might feel insurmountable to them. It's not laziness or lack of care— their brain struggles with initiation, planning, and follow-through.
What feels like background noise to you might be overwhelming for them. Lights, sounds, textures, and smells can cause genuine physical discomfort and stress.
They might be very direct or struggle with implied meanings. They're not being rude— they're being honest and may need explicit communication in return.
Many neurodivergent people "mask" or hide their traits to fit in. This takes enormous energy. If they seem tired or withdrawn, they might be recovering from masking.
Understanding specific situations and how you can provide meaningful support
They might lose track of time or struggle with punctuality. Gentle reminders (not nagging) and understanding when they're late can make a huge difference.
Social interactions can be draining, even with loved ones. If they need alone time, it's not personal—it's necessary for their wellbeing.
When overwhelmed, they might shut down or become non-verbal. Give them space, reduce stimulation, and wait patiently for them to recover.
Even minor criticism can feel devastating. Be gentle with feedback and reassure them of your care and support, especially after conflicts.
Concrete actions you can take depending on your relationship and situation
While resources like this can help you understand neurodivergence in general, your loved one is the ultimate authority on their own experience. Every neurodivergent person is unique—what works for one may not work for another.
The best thing you can do is ask them what they need, listen without judgment, and respect their autonomy. Your willingness to learn and adapt is already a powerful form of support.
Find qualified providers who specialize in supporting neurodivergent individuals, or take a self-assessment to better understand your loved one's needs.